Table of Contents CAST: A Speaker, 4 or more fishermen.
PROPS: A plastic or cardboard sheet, if desired.
SETUP: A speaker is starting what looks like the introduction to
another skit or part of the program when this skit begins. Four
or more people sneak up behind the speaker and set sets of
plastic or cardboard (chairs on hard floor) down so that
"the speaker can't see them." They then begin to go
through the motions of casting a line and reeling it in. After
the audience is watching what the group is doing a while, then
the "speaker" looks over.
Speaker: "What are you doing?"
Fishermen: "We're fishing!"
[fishermen go back to their motions and the speaker resumes talking. After a short time the speaker looks over again.]
Speaker: "But you can't fish here!"
Fishermen: "Why not?"
Speaker: "Because there's no water here!"
Fishermen: "Oh, well, they weren't biting anyway!"
[The fishermen then turn their chairs so that they are lined up in a single line, facing in the same direction. They go through the motions of putting their gear away, and then, acting as if they are rowing a boat, slide their chairs backwards across the stage.]
It worked well in a gymnasium and at the hall where we showed it to the leaders at roundtable. Perhaps the fishermen could sit on plastic garbage bags, or pieces of plastic sheet such as that which is used for ground cloths and simply scoot across the ground when it is time to "row" away.
CAST: A narrator, a Hero, a Medicrin, a Loon, and assorted
villagers. The narrator should have a loud, clear voice. There
should be at least three villagers, but the more, the merrier (up
to ten).
PROPS: none
SETUP: The narrator should read the story, and the characters
should act out the parts. No props need be used, and only the
narrator should speak.
The narrator should read the story slowly and dramatically. Purely from the spoken point of view, the only humor in the entire story is the final punch-line. However, minor slapstick should be employed by the actors.
The Medicrin as recorded by Wayne McCullough (original Author unknown)
There once was a medieval village named Trinsic. This village was being terrorized by a vile monster, the Medicrin. Each night, the Medicrin would stalk down from the hills, and devour one of the villagers.
The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to pool their money together to hire the great hero Erik.
<fanfare>
Erik came and listened to the complaints of the villagers. He consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins love to eat Loons.
So Erik hunted high and low to find a loon. He found one, captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village. He then had the villagers dig a deep pit. Erik threw the loon into the pit, hoping to capture the Medicrin, and slay it.
That night, the Medicrin came...
It smelled the loon...
But it also smelled DANGER, and it ran off, devouring one of the villagers on the way out.
After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins also love sugar.
So Erik gathered up all of the sugar in the village, and threw it into the pit. The loon, not having eaten in days, devoured all of the sugar in a single gulp. Erik was struck with panic, and ran to and fro trying to figure out what to do next, but night had fallen, and the Medicrin would be there soon, so Erik crossed his fingers, and hoped for the best.
That night, the Medicrin came...
It smelled the loon...
It smelled danger...
But it also smelled the sugar, and the Medicrin dived into the pit, and devoured the loon. The villagers swarmed over the Medicrin, and slew it.
The moral of the story:
"A loon full of sugar helps the Medicrin go down."
CAST: 1 doctor and four patients
PROPS: two chairs
SETUP: Scene begins with doctor sitting on one of the chairs.
First patient enters twitching their left arm.
Doctor: 'And what's wrong with you sir?'
Patient 1: 'As you can see doctor I have this terrible twitch'
Doctor: 'Just sit on my magic chair and you'll get better'
[The patient sits on the chair and stops twitching, but the doctor's left arm starts twitching.]
Patient 1: 'Oh thank you doctor. you cured me'
[The patient leaves, the doctor still twitching calls for the next patient.]
Doctor: 'Next...... And what's wrong with you sir?'
Patient 2: 'Oh doctor, I have a awful case of the hiccups."
[The process of sitting in the chair is repeated. The doctor now has a twitch and the hiccups.
[The third patient is called in, both his legs keep flicking in the air. The process is again repeated so that the doctor now has a twitching arm the hiccups and both legs flicking in the air.]
[The doctor now calls patient four. This patient looks quite normal, enters and sits in the magic chair.]
Doctor: 'And what may I ask is wrong with you sir?'
Patient 4: 'I've got a terrible case of the trots doctor!'
[The doctor runs off the stage holding his stomach.]
Note: Trots is English slang for can't stop going to the toilet.
CAST: 3 Scouters
PROPS: stools, if desired.
SETUP: The scene is that three scout leaders are sitting around
the campfire swapping yarns, after having had a little too much
of the amber nectar to drink.
Note: This skit is adapted from the "We were poor" sketch from "Monty Python live at City Center" -- Danny
1st Leader: These scouts today don't know they're born. I can remember the scout hut that we had. There was a hole in the roof, which let the water in when it were raining.
2nd Leader: A roof with a hole in it, that were luxury. We had an old tarpaulin sheet slung over the rafters. Us older lads had to hang onto it during the meetings, case it blew away in the wind.
3rd Leader: Rafters, now there's a luxury. When I was a scout our hut had no roof at all, and we kept out the rain with some old bits of sack, held up with twigs.
1st Leader: We couldn't get twigs. We had to hold the roof up with our bare hands. Those were the days.
2nd Leader: I remember when us lads used to go to camp. We loaded all our gear onto an old army truck and drove to the campsite singing songs.
3rd Leader: We had no time for singing. We used to pull all our gear along on an old cart with wooden wheels. And the wheels used to get bogged down in the mud.
1st Leader: A cart with wheels, now that's what I call a luxury. We just had an old cardboard box to put all our camping gear in, and when it rained all our gear would get soaking wet, and fall into the mud, but we were happy.
2nd Leader: Yes, those were the days.
3rd Leader: We had some nice tents though, big green six manners.
1st Leader: Six manners, luxury, our tents were so small, you had to sleep sitting up.
2nd Leader: We didn't have any tents at all in my troop. We used to curl up in a hole that we'd dug in the ground, but we were happy.
3rd Leader: We couldn't afford a hole in the ground, we used to sleep in a puddle.
1st Leader: Yes these youngsters today don't know they're born, but if you told them all these things they would never believed you.
CAST: 5 - 8 Scouts, as desired.
PROPS: fake knife.
SETUP: Line of submarine officers on a submarine during W.W.II.
Captain sights a ship in the periscope
Captain: 'Tanker bearing 259, Range 1 mile'
[He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told. The torpedo operator just shrugs his shoulders.]
Captain: 'Load main tube # 1 and stand by to fire.'
[He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told.]
Torpedo Op: 'I don't know How.'
[Next the captain gives the order to fire down the line, but the TORPEDO OPERATOR says...]
Torpedo Op: "I don't know How."
[This message is returned up the line to the Captain who SCREAMS.]
Captain: "Press the red button."
[When this message finally gets down to the TORPEDO OPERATOR. He follows it, but it took too long so they miss the ship.]
[This may is repeated for about three ships, each time the TORPEDO OPERATOR doesn't remember how to fire. The Captain finally feels disgraced and pulls out a knife and commits Sepuku, or incorrectly, Hari Keri. Each officer in turn picks up the knife and follows the Captains example until at last the knife comes to the Torpedo Officer Who looks at the knife...]
Torpedo Op: 'I don't Know How..."
CAST: 3
PROPS: pole, clipboard, pencil, broom
SETUP: The scene is an emergency room at a hospital.
The admissions person is totally self absorbed, combing hair, looking in mirror, checking nails, etc. A guy runs in, a skier with a pole stuck in his stomach (a branch could be used also for a hiker). He is screaming in agony.
The nurse insists that she must ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient screams that he is losing blood. The nurse continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of house, how he got there etc. A phone rings and the person is invited out to lunch. He runs off leaving the wounded man writhing on the floor.
A janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the pole out. The patient stands up, says thanks and leaves.
CAST: 5 - 8 Scouts, as desired.
PROPS: none
SETUP: Line of Scouts standing with left foot crossed over right,
right arm crossed over left.
1st Scout: "IS IT TIME YET?"
[Second Scout asks third, etc. down the line.]
Last Scout: "NO"
[Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time. After a long pause...]
1st Scout: "IS IT TIME YET?"
[It goes down the line as before.]
Last Scout: "NO"
[Again and the word is passed back. Another long pause...]
1st Scout: "IS IT TIME YET?"
[etc. and,]
Last Scout: "YES"
[The answer is passed back. Just after the first Scout gets the word, they all change to right foot over left and left arm over right.]
CAST: 4 Scouts
PROPS: none
SETUP: 1st Scout comes out, gets down on all fours, pretends to
be a table. 2nd Scout enters and looks at the table.
2nd Scout: "Ahh, a fly, I think I'll pull it's wings off.
[Proceeds to pick it up, pluck the wings, put it back on the table, and walks off. 3rd Scout comes out and looks at the fly on the table.]
3rd Scout: "Oh, a fly with no wings, I think I'll pull it's legs off."
[With great precision and animation, picks up the fly, removes it's legs, and puts it back and walks off. 4th Scout comes out and looks at the fly.]
4th Scout: "Say, a fly with no wings or legs. I think I'll pull it's head off."
[Then proceeds as the other Scouts before him. Last Scout comes out looks at the table, then carefully inspects the object without picking it up and says very quickly.]
Last Scout: "A raisin!"
[Quickly picks it up and puts it in his mouth.]
CAST: 3; Narrator, Mule Driver, and Mule.
PROPS: none
SETUP: Two scouts enter, the driver and the mule on all fours,
and move across stage as the skit proceeds. A narrator stands
just offstage. You can ham this up a bit, but here's the jist of
it.
Narrator: "In the heat of the Mojave Desert, the mule driver pushes his beast toward town. The first day..."
Mule: "Water, master, water!"
Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"
Narrator: "Still they drive on relentlessly. The second day..."
Mule: "Water, master, water!"
Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"
Narrator: "Without mercy, they push to their goal. The third day..."
Mule: "Water, master, water!"
Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"
Narrator: "Still far from town, they go on. The fifth day..."
Offstage: "What happened to the fourth day?"
Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"
CAST: You will need three scouts or male scout leaders and one
girl scout or lady leader. You can do this with adults or
youngsters, but do not mix adults and youngsters.
PROPS: Tie, scarf, jacket or other items (2).
SETUP: The scene is that three boys are chatting in a group when
from the side of the stage, a young lady walks on, hands in front
of her, sleep walking. She walks up to the first boy, takes off
his tie and walks off taking his tie with her.
1st Boy: "Hey, she's pinched my tie!"
2nd Boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry she'll bring it back when she wakes up."
[The girl walks back and takes the second boys jacket, she walks off carrying it with her.]
2nd Boy: "Hey, she's pinched my jacket!"
3rd Boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry she'll bring it back, when she wakes up."
[The girl walks back still sleep walking, grabs the 3rd boy by the arm and walks off with him.]
3rd Boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, but don't worry she'll bring me back when she wakes up."
By setting up a white sheet and using a light behind it, a hospital operation can be silhouetted onto the sheet, which is set up like a screen. Ham it up with humorous dialogue, occasionally throwing a peeled tomato or a piece of raw liver or spurt of ketchup out to the audience. A good creative imagination would be an asset here.
CAST: 1 narrator; 3-6 Scouts for the lighthouse walls; 3-6
leaders, counselors, kitchen staff, etc., number to equal the Scouts
and will be 'recruited' during the skit.
PROPS: 1 flashlight, or 2 if using 5-6 Scouts
SETUP: Scouts stand in a circle, facing out, feet spread 2' - 3'
apart but touching feet of Scouts on each side. The flashlight is
held at eye level and is passed around the circle. Scouts stand
tall and hold the beacon's beam steady.
Narrator: "Many years ago the people of a seaside village built a lighthouse to warn approaching ships of a dangerous shoal near their harbor. It's beacon could be seen for miles, even in fog and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse stood firm and give safe passage to all who sailed by the village. But as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so did the lighthouse. The villagers could no longer make repairs, the ocean's waves wore away the foundation, the lighthouse started to sag and failed at its duty."
[The Scouts now stoop, heads lean to the side and bend their knees slightly; the light 'travels' a zig-zag path around.]
Narrator: "When the schooners and square riggers started to go aground on the shoals, the old villagers knew they had to call in experienced people to help with their problem. People who were pillars in their own communities and who were solid as a rock."
[Recruit your favorite 'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct them to go down on their hands an knees and into the walls. Leaders are facing in with their derrieres out, and are straddled by the Scouts who again stand tall and give a steady light.]
Narrator: "Now with these new rocks placed into the foundation, the lighthouse once again shines a bright beacon and stands firm in the stormy surf to withstand the pounding of the waves."
[Scouts drop the flashlight and then hand paddle the leaders.]
CAST: 2
PROPS: none
SETUP: The Sarge and the private are walking.
Private: "I want to rest!"
Sarge: "No! we have to finish this hike. Keep going!"
Private: "But my feet hurt" etc.
[Whining. Here you can be creative, add a few more excuses...]
Sarge: "Absolutely NOT!!!"
Private: "Ill cry..."
Sarge: "Go ahead!"
Private: "WaaaaaaHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
[Here Sarge gives in and they rest.]
[Next the private wants to stop and 'take a wee' You can always use the "Weeee!" when the Sarge finally gives in after the same Rigmarole. Next a drink, and finally food. But this is only a day hike so there is no food. After more tears, the Sarge finds a worm and the private will only eat it, on the threat of more tears, if the Sarge eats half. Of course when he finally does, the private starts bawling again.]
Sarge: "Now what's wrong!"
Private: "You ate my half."
This skit starts out with a couple of scouts asking for some victims, er... volunteers, from the audience. The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the assistant scouts in charge of the 'Game Show'.
After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two small tables are covered with sleeping bags, sheets or what ever you have handy. Balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables. The catch is that in-between the two tables a person is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets. This, of course, is well hidden by the sleeping bags. The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table. Don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.
Bring in the first contestant...
It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.
Bring in the next contestant...etc.
This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.
This skit has a Brotherhood theme, and is well-suited to the older Scouts and leaders, particularly at a campfire. It is best presented near the end of the campfire, when things are winding down (and the children have settled down].BROTHERHOOD OF SCOUTING
CAST: 6; Old Man with a Staff, Spirit of the Beaver, Spirit of the Wolf Cub, Spirit of the Scout, Spirit of Adventure, Spirit of the Rover
5 For BSA; Old Man with a Staff, Spirit of the Wolf Cub,
Spirit of the Scout, Spirit of Adventure, Spirit of the Explorer.
Adapt script accordingly.
SETUP: The Old Man is inside the campfire circle, walking slowly
with his staff. He is slightly hunched over with age and leans on
the staff heavily.
The Scouting Spirits are evenly spaced outside the campfire circle, just far enough back not to be seen.
Index cards can be used by the Spirits if there isn't time to memorize each role. (Small Flashlight recommended!)
Note: When the Old Man stops each time and looks into the fire, there should be 2-3 seconds of silence before the Spirits speak.
The memories that the Old Man says aloud should be specific to the group, so they have relevance to the audience and can feel the full impact of the skit. Consult with other leaders/ youth for ideas.THE SKIT:
Old Man: (Shuffling slowly around the campfire)
My life has been long, too long, and my Scouting years are behind
me. My friends are all gone and I am going to die alone. Old and
Alone.
(Stops and stares into the fire)
All Spirits: "SHARING"
Spirit Of The Beaver:
I am the Spirit of the Beaver. When you were young, I taught you
Sharing and Caring for the World.
Old Man: (Resumes shuffling slowly around the campfire)
[Beaver Memory: e.g. "Beavers. I remember Beavers.
Riverbanks and the Beaver Pond, making crafts to take home to
Mom...", etc.]
(The Old Man stops again and stares into the fire.)
All Spirits: "A-Ke-Lah"
Spirit Of The Wolf Cub:
I am the Spirit of the Wolf Cub. I taught you to do your best, I
led your Pack through the forest and you lived by My Law.
Old Man: (Resumes shuffling around the campfire)
[Cub Memory: e.g. "Cubs. I remember Cubs. Hot Dog roasts in
the bush, my first real camp-out, and of course the Kub Kar
races...", etc.]
(The Old Man stops again and stares into the fire.)
All Spirits: "On My Honor"
Spirit Of The Scout:
I am the Spirit of the Scout. I taught you knots and how to camp
without a trace, and together we explored the land.
Old Man: (Resumes shuffling around the circle)
[Scout Memory: e.g. "Scouts. I remember Scouts. Long hikes
and long camps, breaking lake ice for water in the winter. And
then there was Jamboree...", etc.]
(Stops and stares into the fire.)
All Spirits: "Challenge"
Spirit Of Adventure:
I am the Spirit of Adventure. I taught you leadership and set you
free, to test your limits to the skies.
Old Man: (Resumes shuffling around the fire)
[Venture Memory: e.g. "Oh, yes, Venturers. Attending
Jamboree as a Hikemaster, leading people from around the world
into the Rockies. Getting my drivers license and trying to date
Rangers...", etc.]
(Stops and stares into the fire)
All Spirits: "Service"
Spirit Of The Rover:
I am the Spirit of the Rover. I led you to adulthood and
self-destiny. We chose to give back the love we were given through
Service.
Old Man: (Resumes shuffling)
[Rover Memory: e.g. "Rovers. I could never forget Rovers.
Helping out at Dream-On, putting on District campfires. And then
there were the Moots and Road trips. And camps, camps,
camps.", etc.]
(Slows down and begins to sink to the ground. He is dying.)
All Spirits: (Walk straight into the campfire circle from
where they stand, if possible. They should all arrive at the Old Man's
body at the same time. Wait a moment or two.)
"We are the brotherhood of Scouting".
(Each section says its name in order - BEAVERS, CUBS, SCOUTS,
VENTURERS, ROVERS.)
"If you grow up with Scouting you are NEVER alone."
CAST: Pilot, Co-Pilot, announcer; If more are desired, they
can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions.
PROPS: Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if
required. A compass.
SETUP: Set up cast in 2 rows, as if sitting on an airliner.
Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.
Pilot: Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot?
Co-Pilot: (peering out the window)
I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's
likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look.
Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the left)
Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some
instruments.
Co-Pilot: (pulling compass from pocket)
Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20
minutes ago, so we've got to be on course.
(Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it.
Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going
in.
(Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)
Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back
the engines.
(Louder) More flaps, less throttle!
Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)
Pilot: QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES!
Both: (Sighs of relief)
We're down, we made it!
Pilot: Boy that was a short runway!
Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left)
Yep, and wide too!
CAST: Bell-ringer, applicant, Gendarme, announcer
PROPS: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the
Hunchback, hat and/or nightstick for Gendarme.
SETUP: 3-part skit. The same person is used for both applicants.
Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.
Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Gravely voice)
Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see.
(Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell
tower, bent over due to hunch.)
Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Angrily)
I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here.
(Arrives at and opens the door.)
Hunchback: Yeah! What do you want?
Applicant: I'm here about the bell ringer's job.
Hunchback: All right! Come on up and I'll see if you can do
the job.
(Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the
applicant.)
Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it?
Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you?
Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.
Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't
run up the church's fuel bill.
(Both turn around and go back.)
Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the
door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part.
(Arriving at door)
O.K., so now you're here, close the door.
Applicant: (Closes door)
How are the benefits in this job?
Hunchback: (Both going back up)
Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you
ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a
year.
(Finally arriving at the bell)
Alright, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's
done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard...
(steps back and follows path of bell out and back)
then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it.
Do you think you can do that?
Applicant: Sure!
(does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by
bell and falls back, to the ground)
Hunchback: Oh my gosh! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk.
I'd better get down there.
(Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground)
(Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)
Gendarme: (Entering, calls to Hunchback)
Hey you! Do you know this guy?
(Rolls body over with foot)
Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell!
CAST: Bell-ringer, applicant, Gendarme, announcer
PROPS: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the
Hunchback, hat and/or nightstick for Gendarme.
SETUP: The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing
Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps
with a little more 'hamming it up'
[When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:]
Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.
[Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.][Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.]
Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday!
CAST: Bell-ringer, applicant, Gendarme, announcer, 2 Firemen
PROPS: Rain slickers, blanket, Coat with football or wadded
clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat and/or nightstick for
Gendarme.
SETUP: To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.
Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them
like a jumping net. They jig and jog around the performing area.
Gendarme: (Entering)
Hey, what are you guys doing?
Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him!
CAST: Shop owner, customer, volunteer from audience
PROPS: none
SETUP: The scene begins with three players on their hands and
knees, in a row, as bicycles.
Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.
Customer: (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.
Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size?
[Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the third is too small.]
Customer: I sure like the first one, let me try it again.
Shop Owner: Why not?
(Setting up bike again)
There you are, it's all set up again.
(Customer sits on it, and again it falls down.)
Customer: I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.
Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it may need a little adjustment. Let me get some help.
[A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.]
Customer : (Sitting on the bike)
That's perfect now. What was the problem?
Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together!
CAST: Owner, lawnmower, 2 helpers, volunteer from audience.
PROPS: none
SETUP: One participant is on his hands and knees as the mower.
Owner: (Yanking imaginary rope, while mower sputters)
This darned old mower, I can't get it going. I need some help.
(Gets help from another participant.)
Helper #1: So you just want me to yank on this rope, and get
it started? That's easy!
(Yanking rope)
Mower: (Splutters, bobs up and down)
Helper #1: I'm sorry. I can't seem to do it. Have you checked the gas?
Owner: Yes, I have. Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else
has a strong arm.
(Selects another participant)
What I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the starting
rope and make it run.
Helper #2: Sure thing.
(Yanks rope a couple of times.)
Mower: (Bobs up and down, sputters, coughs)
Helper #2: Sorry, I can't do it either.
Owner: What I need is someone big and strong
(Selects a Leader. Leader will probably make some comments, but
let him talk and get him to pull the rope)
Mower: (Splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run)
Owner: There. All it needed was a good jerk.
CAST: Leader & several helpers
PROPS: Matches, buckets of water
SETUP: The leader begins to explain how to lay a campfire.
Leader: "Now I will demonstrate how to properly lay a fire. In order that everyone may see better I have decided to use members of the audience to represent the different pieces of wood."
[The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers. Some of the volunteers are bunched in the center for tinder with others placed for kindling with the "big" logs stacked on top of each other in increasing larger sizes.]
Leader: "The fire is now ready to light, one match!"
[Leader strikes a match, whereupon, several accomplices yell out "ITS ON FIRE", and dash several buckets of water on the fire.]
CAST: Small boy, 2 Strangers.
PROPS: none
SETUP: Small boy is sitting, crying. Stranger 1 enters.
Stranger 1: What's wrong little boy, why are you crying?
Boy: (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop
Stranger 1: Have you looked for it?
Boy: (Continues to sob)
Oh, yes, I've looked under my bed, in my sock drawer, and even in
Charlie's pocket.
Stranger 1: I've heard that chanting often works. You think very hard about the lollipop until you can see it in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over again.
Boy: (Closing eyes tightly)
Lollipop, lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy
lollipop, big red yummy lollipop...
[Stranger 1 nods approval and strolls out. Boy continues chanting for a while, then starts crying again. Stranger 2 enters.]
Stranger 2: What's wrong, little boy?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop, and I hunted and hunted, then this man told me to chant, and I did, and it didn't work!
Stranger 2: Chanted?
Boy : Yeah, like this
(Demonstrates, then starts to cry)
Stranger 2: Don't cry little boy. Maybe we need more help.
Boy : (Turns to audience)
You're my only help to get my lollipop back. Everybody, very
softly now, chant with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red
yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop."
(Gets everyone doing it in unison)
Great! I think it's working, keep going now.
[Stranger 1 Re-enters]
Stranger 1: Hi little boy. Did it work?
Boy : (Loudly) No, it didn't, but I did find a whole lot of other suckers!
CAST: Narrator
PROPS: none
SETUP: Each character in the skit has a distinctive sound to make
when the Narrator says their name during the reading of the skit.
The Narrator should pause, after reading the name of each
character so they can make their sound and for audience
reaction.Characters:Brutal Miner: GrrrrrrrrrrTired Wife: Oh
dear.Lazy Son: (Yawning sound)Young Daughter: (Giggles)Beautiful
Daughter: "Ahhhhh"Handsome Harry: Ah Ha!Automobile:
Honk HonkCat: MeowNarrator:
Once upon a time in the far west, there lived a BRUTAL MINER , who had a TIRED WIFE, a LAZY SON, a giggling YOUNG DAUGHTER, and a BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. On the other side of the mountain lived HANDSOME HARRY. This young man drove his AUTOMOBILE over the mountains and carried mail to the BRUTAL MINER.
One day, the TIRED WIFE was cleaning the house. The BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER was helping her. The YOUNG DAUGHTERwas playing with the CAT on the steps and the LAZY SON was sleeping. The BRUTAL MINER came out and kicked the CAT. The TIRED WIFE and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER rushed out with brooms and hit the BRUTAL MINER, but this did not bother him. He grabbed the TIRED WIFE by one arm and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER by the other and shoved them into the house. The YOUNG DAUGHTER ran away with the CAT.
Just then, HANDSOME HARRY drove up in his AUTOMOBILE and saw the BRUTAL MINER beating the TIREDWIFE and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. HANDSOME HARRY rushed to the rescue and grabbed the BRUTAL MINERand threw him down the mine shaft. The BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERflew into the waiting arms of HANDSOME HARRY, while the TIRED WIFE and the YOUNG DAUGHTER watched with enthusiasm. The LAZY SON slept on.
HANDSOME HARRY took the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER in his AUTOMOBILE to the little church in the wildwood and they lived happily every after.
CAST: Narrator
PROPS: none
SETUP: Each character in the skit has a distinctive sound to make
when the Narrator says their name during the reading of the skit.
The Narrator should pause, after reading the name of each
character so they can make their sound, and for audience
reaction.Characters:Cowboy: Yippee!Old Paintbrush: Whinny)Chief
Woodpussy: (Makes war whoop)Sitting Bull: Hee HawEmma: (Rattles
stones in tin)Timber Wolf: HowoooooSheriff: Bang Bang.Deputy: He went
that-a-way
Narrator:
Once upon a time there was a COWBOY who went out into the desert, riding his horse, OLD PAINTBRUSH. Far off in the distance, he could hear the TIMBER WOLF. The COWBOY made camp and went fast asleep, first making sure OLD PAINTBRUSH was secure.
Now, creeping through the desert was CHIEF WOODPUSSY riding his mule SITTING BULL. He was pursued by the SHERIFF and his DEPUTY. In his pocket, CHIEF WOODPUSSY had his trained rattlesnake, EMMA, who was trained to creep up and bite the COWBOY and his horse. While CHIEF WOODPUSSY crept up, OLD PAINTBRUSH watched the camp, the TIMBER WOLF howled, the COWBOY snored, and SITTING BULL ate cactus.
In the meantime, the SHERIFF and his DEPUTY sprang their trap. "Halt, you are my prisoner!" shouted the SHERIFF. The COWBOY woke up and mounted his horse, OLD PAINTBRUSH, which frightened the TIMBER WOLFand EMMA.
Away went old CHIEF WOODPUSSY on his faithful mule, SITTING BULL, and after them went the SHERIFF, his DEPUTY , the COWBOY and OLD PAINTBRUSH. But old CHIEF WOODPUSSY led them into a blind canyon, so that was the last anybody ever saw of the COWBOY, OLD PAINTBRUSH, EMMA, the rattlesnake, the TIMBER WOLF, the mule, SITTING BULL, the SHERIFF, or his DEPUTY.
CAST: 2 fishermen
PROPS: none
SETUP: The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary
boat.
Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.
Robert: (puts hand to eyes)
Yep. I can't see the shore anymore. Ready to start fishing?
Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.
[Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and catch more. Continue for several casts.]
Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit.. better get back.
Andrew: O.K.
(gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X
right here on the side of the boat!
(makes mark - both row away quickly)
CAST: Artist; from audience: 2 trees, 3 birds, 1 brook, 2
rabbits, 1 sun
PROPS: none
SETUP: Artist creates a 'living masterpiece'.
Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have
come here this evening at great expense to create one of my
living nature paintings which will express the atmosphere of this
camp! First I am going to need some trees.
[Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and are directed where to stand. They wave their arms gently.]
Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.
[Three birds are selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.]
Vincent: (Stands back to view scene)
Perhaps a sun to shine on everything.
[A tall participant stands on a bench and smiles brightly.]
Vincent: (Again viewing)
It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around.
[Assistant Leaders are chosen for rabbits, and hop around the scene.]
Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're always babbling?
[The brook takes his place laying down and babbles.]
Vincent: (Turns to audience)
There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature scene. I
call it "The Gathering of the Nuts."
CAST: Driver, go-cart
PROPS: none
SETUP: One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart'.
Driver: Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble! Now
the front wheel has come off.
(Selects member of audience)
Would you come over and give me a hand. Thanks.[Selected person
may have some comments to respond to. Then they are led to the
cart.]
Driver: Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's
right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be the front
wheel. Now let me try it again.
(Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)
Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)
Driver: Now what is it?
[Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags again.]
Driver: Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help.
(Selects someone else)
Please come over here and be the suspension. That's right, just
hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again.
(Gets on car, starts engine.)
Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)
Driver: (Getting off)
Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help.
(Selects more help. New help is positioned at rear wheel.)
Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel
(indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a big
help. Thanks.
(Driver gets on cart, starts engine)
Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)
Driver: (Braking to halt)
Oh, that's perfect now! All I needed was a few NUTS to get it
going!
CAST: 2 scouts
PROPS: Two sheets of paper, envelopes optional.
SETUP: Scouts are at camp and have just received mail from home.
Scott and Robin enter reading their letters.
Notes: With this skit it is possible to put each boy's script on a sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they were reading the letter.
Scott: Gee, it's always nice to get a letter from home when you're at camp.
Robin: Hey, look, I got a letter from my Mom.
Scott: Me too. Listen, my Mom says she's writing this letter slowly, because she knows I can't read fast.
Robin: Mine says I won't know the house when I come home.. They've moved!
Scott: Oh, my Dad has a new job with 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Robin: Our neighbors started keeping pigs. Mom got wind of it this morning.
Scott: Oh, my goodness. My little brother came home from school crying because all the other boys had new clothes and we can't afford any for him. Mom says she got him a new hat and lets him stand in the window.
Robin: There was a washing machine in the new house. But my Mom put four shirts in it, pulled the handle and they disappeared. Guess it doesn't work right.
Scott: My Mom had her appendix out and a dishwasher put in. And, oh, my sister had a baby this morning. Mom doesn't know if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because she doesn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl.
Robin: Oh, dear, there's a P.S. It says, I was going to send you $ 10.00, but I had already sealed the envelope.
Scott: Well, it's nice to know things are normal at home.
Robin: Yep.
[Both exit]
CAST: 2 workers, announcer.
PROPS: Lunch bags or pails.
SETUP: 2 workers at a construction site at lunch time. Workers
enter with lunches and sit down together.
Announcer: We see here a construction site. It is now lunch time, and two friends are about to eat.
Worker 1: (Opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted)
Yechhhh!! Egg salad sandwiches again!
Worker 2: Look, if you hate them that bad, I'll swap with you.
(Both pretend to eat, then exit.)
Announcer: The next day.
Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks
very disgusted)
Yechhhh!!! Egg salad sandwiches again!
Worker 2: O.K... I'll trade with you again.
(Both pretend to eat, then exit.)
Announcer: The next day.
Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks
very disgusted)
Yechhh!! Egg salad sandwiches again!
Worker 2: (Angrily) Look, if you don't like egg salad sandwiches, why don't you ask your (wife/mom/significant other) to make something else?
Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant other)?? She's got nothing to do with it. I make my own sandwiches!
CAST: 4
PROPS: sheet or blanket, large shirt or jacket, various objects
such as bowl with food, comb, shoes,
SETUP:
Fasten a shirt backwards around the first person's neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second person stand behind the first and put his arms through the shirt sleeves. A sheet is held by two others behind the head of the first person, hiding the second person. The second person tries to do various ordinary acts such eating from a bowl, tying shoes, cooking and cracking eggs (on the narrator as one possibility) etc.
CAST: Lumberjack, store owner, announcer.
PROPS: Chain saw (fake or pretend)
SETUP: Owner is in his hardware store in a small north woods
lumber town.
Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small north woods lumber town.
Lumberjack: (Enters)
My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will
let me cut more wood, or I'm going to go broke!
Owner: Yes, sir! For only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own crosscut.
Lumberjack: (Handing over money)
O.K. great!
(Exits)
Announcer: The next day.
Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly)
There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard
yesterday, and only cut half as much wood.
Owner: Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another try.
Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be
back!
(Exits)
Announcer: The next day.
Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted)
This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it
won't cut half the wood of my old saw! I want my money back!
Owner : Yes, sir! Just let me check it out here.
(Pulls starter rope)
Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)
Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh! What on earth is all that noise?
CAST: Friar, Brother Daniel, 2-3 or more monks.
PROPS: Blankets and rope to make Monk's Cassock.
SETUP: Monks are lined up in a block, as if in church pews,
looking somber.
Friar: Good morning, everyone.
Monks: Good morning, Friar.
Friar: For our morning prayers today, we are going to practice
chanting. All together now, repeat after me -
(Chanting)
Morning, morning, mor-or-ning.
Monks: (Rather raggedly)
Morning, morning, mor-or-ning.
Friar: Not bad, but we need to get more feeling and rhythm
into it. Let's try again.
[A couple more attempts are made, each one better, then on the third try it sounds excellent, but one Monk chants loud and clear, "Ev-en-ning".]
Friar: Cut, Cut! What was that?
Br. Daniel: What's wrong, Friar? I thought it sounded good.
Friar: (Breaking into song)
Someone Chanted Evening!
CAST: 4, announcer
PROPS:
SETUP: St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates, looking saintly,
greeting new arrivals.
Announcer: Here we see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
Ian: (Walks up to St. Peter)
Hello, St. Peter. I see I've come to Heaven.
St. Peter: Well, you're not in yet! First you've got to tell me how you suffered on Earth.
Ian: Well, I spent a week eating Camp <camp_name> food.
St. Peter: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough.
(Ian exits dejectedly.)
Doug: (Enters)
Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.
St. Peter: Fine, fine. And how have you suffered?
Doug: I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my feet, and fell into poison ivy.
St. Peter: Sorry. That's not enough suffering to get into
Heaven.
(Doug exits)
Brad : (Enters)
Can I get into Heaven?
St. Peter: How did you suffer?
Brad : I'm in (Pick someone who can take a joke) (troop/pack/class, etc.)
St. Peter: Well, then, you've suffered plenty! Come on in!!
CAST: 2 or 3 news announcers
PROPS: Can stand or sit on stools.
SETUP: News announcers alternate reading news stories.
Alternately, may be done as individual walk-ons between skits and
songs.
Today, Lady Blenkinsop Smythe, laid a foundation stone. Both are said to be doing well, and resting comfortably.
A lorry (truck) load of artificial hair has just overturned on the motorway. The police are combing the countryside.
This afternoon, two girl scouts, went for a tramp in the woods. The tramp got away.
A hundred dollar bill has just been found on the campsite. Will the owner please form an orderly queue outside the mess tent to claim it.
Doctors have just discovered, that people with hairs starting to grow on the palms of their hands are going mad. (PAUSE.) They also tell us that people looking for hairs on the palms of their hands are already mad.
Today thieves broke into the local police station and stole fifty pairs of trousers. The police are looking pretty silly.
Yesterday a chicken swallowed a YoYo. It laid the same egg seventy-five times.
Here is a late railway announcement. The train now arriving at platforms 5, 6, 7 and 8 is coming in sideways.
Will the man who has just left the train standing on platform 5. Please come and collect it as we have enough of our own.
The wind was blowing so hard yesterday that a chicken laid the same egg 5 times.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators for 3 hours.
A rabbit was spotted in the woods yesterday, standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
Today a boy scout slipped on the ice and hurt his ankle. A little old lady had to help him across the street.
A 747 airplane recently crashed in a cemetery. Government officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.
<name> announced his new invention today. It's a solar-powered flashlight.
Congress announced we're giving the Lower Slabovians 10,000 septic tanks. As soon as they learn to drive them they're going to invade Russia.
The Crew of the next space shuttle will be monitoring about 25 milk cows up in space to see how they react to no gravity. It will be "The first herd shot round the world.."
It was reported today that <name> died today raking leaves, when he fell out of the tree.
Sadly, <name> died today while drinking milk. The cow fell on him.
CAST: 1 Narrator, 5 or more trees, 1 volunteer
PROPS: none
SETUP: All the boys except one lined up facing the audience,
spaced at least three feet apart. The remaining boy is the narrator.
An adult "volunteer" is selected. He is instructed to
stand off to the side until he hears the word 'spring'. That is
his que to start running between the trees for a few minutes.
Narrator: The scouts here are trees during the summer. Their branches are strong and sturdy, and they are full of leaves providing shade to the forest animals.
[While the narrator is talking, the "trees" raise their arms and mime what the narrator is saying.]
Narrator: A tree in the fall prepares for the coming winter, and begins to lose its leaves. It provides food for the forest creatures for the coming lean winter months.
[The "trees" should begin to sag their branches].
Narrator: A tree in the winter time, with the wind howling through their bare limbs. No sign of life shows in the shaking limbs.
[Someone can supply the sound effects if you desire, and the boys should be moving like their is a large gust of wind pushing them around.]
Narrator: But finally 'spring' arrives, bringing with it the renewal of the forest trees. First new buds appear, and then the fresh, green leaves burst forth, renewing the promise of life in the forest...
[As you say the word spring, the volunteer moves quickly between the trees several times. You will finish the skit by saying...]
Narrator: "... and notice how quickly the SAP runs through the trees."
This skit can be as long or as short as you want to make it. As each season is discussed in as great as detail as you want. The trees should be mimicking what the narrator is saying. Make sure the narrator places emphasis on the word sap, so the audience reacts quickly to the gag.
CAST: open
PROPS: gorilla, lion, etc. costume.
SETUP: This is an action chant, which can be performed by as many
scouts as you wish. It can be made into something really good, by
dressing up in safari gear and carrying rifles.
1st Scout: We're going on safari.
ALL: We're going on safari.
1st Scout: We're gonna catch a big one.
ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.
1st Scout: Ooh look a snake.
ALL: Ooh look a snake.
1st Scout: Hiss, hiss.
ALL: Hiss, hiss.
2nd Scout: We're going on safari.
ALL: We're going on safari.
2nd Scout: We're gonna catch a big one.
ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.
2nd Scout : Ooh look a crocodile.
ALL: Ooh look a crocodile.
2nd Scout: Snap, snap.
ALL: Snap, snap.
1st Scout: Hiss, hiss.
ALL: Hiss, hiss.
3rd Scout: We're going on safari.
ALL: We're going on safari.
3rd Scout: We're gonna catch a big one.
ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.
3rd Scout: Ooh look a panther.
ALL: Ooh look a panther.
3rd Scout: Poof, poof.
ALL: POOF, POOF.......Why on Earth poof poof?
3rd Scout: Well, he was pink!
2nd Scout: Snap, snap.
ALL: Snap, snap.
1st Scout: Hiss, hiss.
ALL: Hiss, hiss.
And So On.
[To finish you can have someone dressed in a gorilla suit. The last scout starts to sing 'Ooh look a gorilla', then all the others see the gorilla as he comes on stage and chases them all off screaming].
CAST: 4, or more
PROPS: none
SETUP: A long bench or the edge of a (low) stage is a bridge. One
person is standing on it, swaying and saying
1st Person: "Ready... Set..."
[The second person enters and comes up to him.]
2nd Person: "what are you doing up there?"
1st Person: "I'm really depressed because I just lost my job, so I'm going to jump and end it all."
2nd Person: "Wait, I'll join you. My wife just left me and I don't want to live without her."
[The 2nd Person gets up on 'bridge' and prepares to jump]
Together: "Ready... Set..."
[3rd Person enters]
3rd Person: "What's going on"
1st Person: "I'm really depressed because I just lost my job, so I'm going to jump and end it all."
2nd Person: "My wife just left me and I don't want to live without her, so I'm going to jump and end it all."
3rd Person: "Wait, I'll join you. My house burned down and I don't have anyplace to live."
Together: "Ready... Set..."
[This can go on as long as you can think of reasons to jump. The last person to join them enters...]
Reporter: "I'm a reporter and I have to find a story by 5:00 or I'll be fired. It's almost 5 now, and the whole city is so quiet that I'll never make it."
[He joins the line of people]
Together: "Ready... Set... JUMP!"
[Everyone jumps off the bridge, except the reporter, who walks away writing on his notepad...]
Reporter: "What a story: (# of people) jump off the (local name) Bridge!"
CAST: 4-5
PROPS: stuffing for pregnant women, seats
SETUP: The scene takes place in the waiting room of a doctor of
contagious and communicable diseases, Dr. Ringworm, M.D., l.s.d.,
v.i.p., l.c.b. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or
books.
In walks a fellow (a) with an itch which he scratches periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and attempts to read but is disturbed periodically by his itch. After a while , a second fellow (B) comes in with a serious hand twitch. B sits next to A. B gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to twitch. When it has been well established that they have contracted each others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg twitch. Pretty soon all three have the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a fourth guy comes in bouncing all over the place and shaking every muscle in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and are bouncing around in their chairs. Then a boy dressed like a pregnant lady strolls in casually and the other four scramble for their lives.
CAST: 3-4
PROPS: none
SETUP:
A boy enters chewing gum, walks around looking all over, finally sticks gum on the (imaginary) wall. A kid listening to rock & roll on his portable stereo, dances in, leans on wall, hands sticks to gum. Tries hard to pull hand off the wall. The kid looks at the gum, stretches it, picks his nose, sneezes, etc.; all getting on the gum. Throws the gum back at the wall where it sticks. Dum, spacey, jock stereotype enter the elevator, leans on the back wall and the gum gets stuck to the following places: first head and wall, then head and hand, both hands, foot and both hands, both feet and hands, hands, knees, and hand to face. He finally gets free and sticks gum back on wall. First boy re-enters the scene after the Jock leaves, sees the gum and decides to chew it again; then leaves.
CAST: 4-5 boys
PROPS: none
SETUP: Several boys are standing in a line, waiting.
[First boy scratches, then second, and so on down the line. Last boy feels it, digs around in his clothes.]
Boy: "Oh, there you are Marvin! I've been looking all
over for you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin."
(boy acts as though Marvin has hopped away)
Boy: "You come back here, Marvin."
(goes out into audience looking and touching people, finds
something on someone.)
Boy: "There you are Marvin, you've got to stay
here."
(looks at pretend speck)
Boy: "Hey you aren't Marvin!"
(puts it back into the audience)
Boy: "Oh, Marvin, where are you?"
CAST: 4-firing squad; leader; 3-4 prisoners
PROPS: sticks for rifles
SETUP: A firing squad marches in with prisoners, under the
direction of their leader, lines up and places a prisoner in position
for execution. Others are off to the side. The leader of the
firing squad gets ready...
Leader: (calls out) "Ready... Aim..."
Prisoner: (shouts) "Tornado!".
[The soldiers all run for cover and the prisoner escapes. The firing squad recovers and a second prisoner is brought out.]
Leader: (calls out) "Ready... Aim..."
Prisoner: (shouts) "Landslide!".
[The firing squad runs for cover and the prisoner escapes again. Repeat this for other natural disasters. (earthquake, hurricane, stampede) The last prisoner, obviously not very bright, is brought out, and having seen the other prisoners escape decides to do the same thing.]
Leader: "Ready... Aim..."
Prisoner: "Fire!"
[and the firing squad does.]
CAST: 3
PROPS: pencils in a cup
SETUP: A sales manager is trying to teach a dumb salesman how to
sell. The manager tells the trainee to listen to him carefully
and he will teach him how to sell.
[He gives him the following instructions.]
1) Hold pencils in your hand and say, "Pencils for sale." Practice saying that.
2) Next people will ask how much they are so say, "Ten cents. Three for a quarter."
3) Then they will ask what color you have, so you tell them yellow.
4) Now they will either buy them or they won't. If do buy say, "I would appreciate that very much."
[The manager has him repeat the instructions back and leaves him on his own. The trainee is left on his own and starts calling out pencils for sale. Then another person goes rushing by and the trainee doesn't notice him and they collide falling to the ground. They have the following dialogue:]
1) The customer asks if he knows how much the suit cost and the trainee tells him ten cents, three for a quarter.
2) The customer getting mad asks the trainee what do you think I am, to which the trainee replies, "Yellow."
3) The customer really mad says, "Do you want me to punch you in the nose." To which the trainee replies, "I would appreciate that very much."
[At this point the customer beats up the trainee salesman and they leave the stage.]
CAST: 3
PROPS: none
SETUP: The patrol leader and 2 tenderfeet are walking through the
woods on a nature hike. Tenderfoot 2 is not paying attention.
Patrol Leader: We're going to look for wildlife for your badge
requirements.
(excited, pointing with hiking staff)
Look, look... Did you see it?????
Tenderfoot 2: Oh, yes! It was amazing.
Tenderfoot 1: See what??! No, no, where, where??
Patrol Leader: Oh, Tenderfoot, It was a beautiful eagle, 4 foot wing span, beautiful colors.
Tenderfoot 1: No. I didn't see it.
Patrol Leader: You'd better pay closer attention.
(They continue walking).
Oh, Look, did you see it?
Tenderfoot 2: Yes, I sure did?
Tenderfoot 1: No, what?
Patrol Leader: A spotted Owl. I wish you'd pay closer
attention.
(and later)
Did you see it?? Did you see it?
Tenderfoot 2: Yes, I sure did.
Tenderfoot 1: No, I missed it... what was it?
Patrol Leader: An ooh-aah bird.
Tenderfoot 1: Ooh-aah bird. What's an ooh aah bird??
Patrol Leader: An ooh-aah bird is bird that lays a square egg,
like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhh (scrunch up face)-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh (face lights up).
You better not miss any more.
(continue walking).
Tenderfoot 1: (Whispers to other tenderfoot)
Next time I'll fool him. I'll pretend like I saw it.
Patrol Leader: Tenderfoot, Tenderfoot did you see it! (excited)
Tenderfoot 1: Yes! I saw it, I saw it!
Patrol Leader: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!
CAST: 3
PROPS: metal bucket or can, egg/water/towel
SETUP: Mr. Kerpluk, the world renown spitter, will demonstrate
several of his famous spits for the group. He could be French,
German, etc. with the appropriate accent.
An assistant holds a bucket across the stage for Mr. Kerplunk to spit into. Whenever a spit is executed, assistant taps on the bottom of the bucket to create the special effect. Here are some examples of spits to use but be creative in creating your own:
1) Short Shot: He spits; sound effect comes immediately.
2) Ricochet Shot: He spits for a side wall (tree etc. if outside) and watches it bounce around before it hits the bucket.
3) Long after a long pause.
4) Fast Shot: He spits and follows the long arc with his head; sound made Shot: Sound effect is made before he spits.
5) Super Shot: Advertised as the most famous. Spends a minute getting mouth full of spit, checks bulge out and finally spits. Guy in front stands up and wipes water or raw egg from eye, or quickly puts previously wetted towel over his face, pretends to wipe himself off, and then rings out prodigious amount of water from towel.
CAST: 6-8
PROPS: bucket of confetti
SETUP: Get one volunteer from the audience and the rest of the
cast line up in a straight line, with the volunteer at the far
end. The Captain, hat on backwards, looks through the periscope.
Captain: (Yells) "Enemy Ship!"
(This is repeated down the line to the volunteer at the end.)
Captain: (The following commands are repeated down the line)
"Fire Torpedo One!...."
"We Missed!"....
"Fire Two!"...
"We Missed!"....
"Fire Three!"....
"We Missed Again, You Blockhead"....
"Enemy Torpedo Coming our Way!"....
"We've Sprung a Leak"....]
[As the last command is repeated the next to the last person throws hidden confetti on the last person in line, the volunteer.]
CAST:
PROPS: hats
SETUP: The cast is lined up in a straight line, with the torpedo
operator at the far end. The Captain, hat on backwards, looks
through the periscope.
Captain: (Yells) "Enemy Ship!"
(This is repeated down the line to the operator at the end.)
Captain: "Fire Torpedo One!...." (repeated down the line)
Torpedo: "I don't know how." (repeated back up-line)
Captain: "Pull the red chain, push the blue knob"
(pulls on the person's hat and pushes his chest, repeated down
line, and the operator fires the torpedo)
"We Missed!"....
Captain: "Fire Two!"... (repeat above)
"We Missed!"....
Captain: "Fire Three!".... (repeat above)
"We Missed Again, You Blockhead"....
Captain: "Enemy Torpedo Coming our Way!"....
"We've been hit!"....]
[The Captain takes out a gun (hand like a fist with thumb up and first finger out) and shoots himself, falling down dead. This is repeated down the line to the last person who looks at the gun with a confused expression]
Torpedo: "I don't know how!"
CAST: 1 leader, 4-8 volunteers
PROPS: none
SETUP: The object is to set up a bear warning system. Set up four
to eight fellows standing shoulder to shoulder. The leader
explains the warning system operates by having each person
relaying the warning message.
Leader: "When a bear is sighted, the warning must be given out immediately, like this..."
[To the first person in line...]
Leader: "Thar's a Bar." (correct pronunciation is important)
1st Warner: "Whar?"
(be certain that he pronounces it correct; if not correct him.)
Leader: "Over Thar." (pointing with his right hand and arm extended)
A to B: "Thar's a Bar." (if he points now, correct him.)
B: "Whar?"
A: "Over Thar."
(now he should point, keeping arm extended for the rest of skit)
B - C: "Thar's a Bar."
(... and so on until the last one says it to the leader).
[Go through the same procedure with the left hand. The third time have the right leg extended, squatting down. After the last time through the ritual...]
Leader: "You guys are hopeless!"
[then pushes the guy next to him so that the rest will fall like dominoes.]
CAST: four or more people
PROPS: two cups of water
SETUP: The people all line up in a row in front of the audience.
The first person in line has water in his cup and the last person
in line has an empty cup with some water hidden in his mouth.
The skit starts with the narrator explaining this is a demonstration of how a person can brush his teeth when there is a shortage of water.
The first person takes a drink of water from his cup and proceeds to brush his teeth with his finger. After a few seconds he stops and places his head against the ear of the next person in line and that person's cheeks begin to bulge out as the first persons deflate. The second person brushes his teeth with his finger for a few seconds and then puts his mouth against the next person's ear with the same results, and so on down the line until the last person in line in reached.
When this person is finished brushing his teeth, he releases the water he has in his mouth into the cup in his hand.