Characters form into a line across the stage area in order of appearance, character 1 on one end, and the last character on the other end of the line. Each person steps forward 1 big step as he does his character, and then steps back into line when done.
Chorus I: (Everyone)
If I weren't in Troop ______
there's nothing I'd rather be.
If I weren't in Troop ______
1st person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.
Chorus II: (Everyone)
And as you pass him by
you'll always hear him cry...."
1st person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)
Chorus I: (Everyone)
2nd person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.
Chorus II: (Everyone)
2nd person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)
1st and 2nd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE)
Chorus I: (Everyone)
3rd person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.
Chorus II: (Everyone)
3rd person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)
3rd and 2nd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE)
1st, 2nd and 3rd person: (Do lines and actions for characters
ONCE)
etc, until last character has been presented...
End Chorus: (Everyone)
If I weren't in Troop ______
Why, there's NOTHING I'd rather be!!!
Characters
Farmer:
Come on Betsy, give it if you want to live.
Airline Stewardess:
Here's you coffee, here's your tea. here's your plastic bag..
Blahhhh!
Plumber:
Flush it, plunge it, Look out below!!!
Convict:
Oh, no, not the chair! You'll never take me alive!
Jail warden:
Put it away, get back in there! Don't make me get the hose!
President:
Budget hearings, cabinet scandels, How did I get in here?
Senator:
Pork barrels, greased palms, Who gets paid off next?
Carpenter:
Six by four, nail it to the floor.
Undertaker:
Six by four, nail him to the floor.
Cook:
French toast, fried chicken, What the heck is that?!
Garbageman:
French toast, fried chicken, What the heck is that?!
Statue:
(Poses. Does not say anything. Gets carried off at the end of the
song)
Dead man:
(Gasps, clutches chest, and croaks. Lays on ground until the end,
when he is carried off by others.)
Skit-so-frenic:
(last person in skit)
Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here?
(Then goes down the line of characters, doing lines with each one.)
April 3, 1996