Pinewood Derby
Foul-ups
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 1994 00:25:54 -0500
From: "Michael F. Bowman" <mfbowman@CAP.GWU.EDU>
Subject: Pinewood Derby Run Amuck
To: Multiple recipients of list SCOUTS-L <SCOUTS-L%TCUBVM.BITNET@pucc.Princeton.EDU>
Fred Maslan,
Here's a short list of things that have or could go wrong:
- 1. Wheels fly off in various directions
- 2. Car doesn't move when starter handle is flipped
- 3. Car takes the lead then stops a hair short of finish
- 4. Car leaps from track colliding with onlookers
- 5. Lever used to release cars gets stuck in shut position
- 6. Electric timers start to show results before cars cross
finish line
- 7. Parent won't let Scout or anyone else touch car
- 8. Car weighs too much
- 9. Car is whittled down so much that it falls apart going
down track
- 10. Smart scout drills hole in rear and inserts booster engine
with remote controlled igniter
- 11. Stray dog enters through open door and borrows a car to
use as a chew toy
- 12. Car has an obscenity painted on it
- 13. Car loses one wheel crossing the other tracks knocking
each of the cars off track
- 14. Little brother/sister puts bubble gum on axles to help
hold on wheels
- 15. Pack has pit crew to help with last minute adjustments;
e.g. adding or removing weight, lubricating wheels, etc. Leader
removing weights accidentally breaks car into pieces
- 16. Cubmaster announcing race with microphone who ate too
many baked beans at Pack concession stand makes an unscoutlike
raspberry sound - every one looks at him and no one sees which
car crossed the finish line first
- 17. Excited mother is cheering son on through successive raises
in one of tougher finals, he wins and she faints falling over
the track, enter rescue team that decides to use a section of
the track as a backboard, shortening the race (pun intended) :)
- 18. Tacking nail holding center strip in one lane comes lose
and as car heads down, it suddenly pops out and the warped strip
pops up flipping car in the air
- 19. Car has so much oil on axles that it creates an oil slick
all down the lane, closing it for the rest of the race
- 20. Two cubs think they both made the same car (obviously
a parent told them it was their car)
- 21. Nobody will claim one of the cars and it races to victory
as the great unknown, but ugly as sin winner
- 22. On the great race day everyone shows up and the track
assemblers discover that a section is missing - oops
- 23. On the great race day everyone shows up and the track
assemblers discover that a section that was used in the school
display window has old cars glued in place thanks to a thoughtful
den leader
- 24. Very thin car runs off the end of the track, across waxed
floor and lodges under a coke machine that is bolted in place
- 25. After winners are announced three Scouts show up and want
to know when the race will begin
- 26. Cubmaster's car gets switched with a Scout's car in one
race and is the only one not to cross the finish line
- 27. Pack has family races after Pack races are done, two adults
get in a fight over whether one cheated on weight or design
- 28. During the last races, police enter and tell everyone
to evacuate immediately due to a gas leak, they lock the building,
the janitor that opened the building for you goes home with the
key
- 29. The electronic timer shorts out and starts smoking
- 30. You have the big one (heart attack) when the car your
son actually made all by himself wins beating the ones crafted
in design shops
Hope this helps bring a bit of mirth.
Yours in Scouting,
Michael F. Bowman, a/k/a Professor Beaver Deputy District Commissioner
Exploring, GW Dist., NCAC, BSA
Speaking only for myself, but with Scouting Spirit . . .
____ mfbowman@CAP.GWU.EDU ____