The 16.5 Rumours of Scouting
Colin Wallace
The Leader, June/July 1991
Psst! Did you hear about...?
And so continues another rumour. Rumours are strange creatures. They inhabit only the
periphery of reality, but everyone acknowledges their existence.
Nobody knows where rumours come from and, although they're shared only with a few close
personal friends sworn to absolute secrecy, nobody knows where they end up. No one likes
to be thought of as a gossip monger, but everyone loves to listen to the latest rumour.
Scouting is not immune to rumours. In fact, we have more rumours than you can shake a
thumbstick at. The trick is to recognize that they have only a slim basis in fact and to
treat them with the disdain they richly deserve (before you pass them along).
To help you recognize Scouting scuttlebutt, I've compiled a starter set of the 16.5
most common rumours in Scouting. Of course, you won't always hear them quoted in exactly
these terms: variations abound, but you'll certainly find they cover the same ideas.
- It'll take you only a couple of hours a week. Its authorship has been lost in the
mists of time, but this gem probably surfaced as far back as 1908 when the first Scouters
were being recruited. Being a committed, dedicated Scouter (is there any other kind?)
takes an average of at least seven hours, 52 minutes, and 36 seconds a week.
- The parents will help you. Sure, some parents will help you, but they will be the
same few people every time. Remember, however, that the amount of parental help you
receive is directly proportional to the amount of parental involvement you encourage. If
you don't ask, you won't get.
- You have to wear uniform only from the waist up. Originally, this may have been
an attempt to soften the paramilitary label often hung on Scouting. Certainly, no one can
accuse a bunch of half-dressed slobs of resembling anything military. If the members of
your group look like the rear guard of a peasant revolt (to quote the late John Sweet),
who's setting that example? Surely not you?
- Your Service Scouter will visit you regularly. While you're waiting, try to
accept that service visits are secondary to service team meetings where important matters
are discussed. To death. Some onus is on you, the Section Scouter, to identify your needs.
Don't be shy. If you need help, yell for help!
- You don't have to take training if you don't want to. Everyone knows that any
adult Scouter can fool a bunch of kids, right? Who needs special training, right? What
could you possibly learn? Well, with an attitude like that, probably not too much. But,
would you want your kids coming to your meetings with the same attitude.
- The community will support you. They will support you. They'll give you their
newspapers in paper drives. They'll give you their bottles in bottle drives. They'll buy
your apples on Apple Day. But they won't actually come out to your meetings to help you
run an exciting program.
- You don't have to go outdoors if you don't want to. A fallacy based on the
premise that, if God had wanted us to go outdoors during Canadian winters, He would have
given us a few more strategically placed fat cells to insulate us. Our biggest problem
here is that we start indoors and look for reasons to go outdoors. Try starting all your
section's activities and events outdoors. Then, examine why you have to go indoors. Go on,
try it-at least for a month.
- You'll love every minute of it. Let's face it, you'll have moments of deep, dark,
desolate despair when you think your program will never work. Luckily, these moments will
be vastly outweighed by exhilarating flashes of sheer delight when your program does work.
- The kids are all keen as mustard. Youthful enthusiasm tends to ebb and flow but,
at any given moment, at least one kid's enthusiasm for Scouting reaches its zenith.
Identify that one kid and run your program for him or her. Reward and encourage the
enthusiasm. (Easier said than done because, every week, a different kid peaks.)
- Floor hockey will keep them amused until you get a real program going. This
rumour, like every rumour, has a grain of truth in it. Any game will keep them amused, but
we're not in the amusement business. We're trying to develop the future citizens of
Canada, mentally, socially, spiritually, and physically. That's a lot to expect from floor
hockey.
- It won't cost you a dime. It will, however, cost you several dollars-for uniform,
transportation to and from events, training literature, annual registration, and badges.
Yes, your section will have a budget for program items. Yes, your group committee might
pay for some of the items mentioned. You will still have to fork over some cash, usually
when you can least afford it. Think of it as an investment in Canadian futures.
- Your family will be thrilled by your involvement. Your family will initially be
very proud of your altruism. Their pride will be replaced shortly by a sense of loss as
you become more and more immersed in an organization they don't understand. Examine your
priorities. If Scouting is Numero Uno, review your list one more time.
- The youth you serve will thank you. They will thank you, but not in your
lifetime.
- Their parents will thank you. Only mentally, for giving them a brief respite on
Tuesday nights from their onerous task of raising young Johnny (or Amir or Nick...).
- Canada will thank you. Not really. The Governor General may one day shake your
hand in grateful acknowledgement of your contribution to the development of Canadian
youth, but don't hold your breath.
- Scouts are action-oriented. There's almost no paperwork. If we subtracted. from
the number of trees planted in the Trees for Canada program, the number of trees needed to
provide the paper used in administering Canada's Scouting programs, the net gain would be
about three trees. Three small trees.
- 16.5, actually. Going back to basics would solve all our problems. Retrospective
rubbish that rates only .5 on the scuttlebutt scale. We're trying to develop leaders, not
nostalgists. The past was a blast, but that was then. This is now. Current problems need
modern solutions. By all means let's learn from our mistakes, but let's keep this movement
moving in the best direction-forward.
Of course, you'll encounter local rumours peculiar to your own section, group, area, or
region. Sorry, I can't help you there. You're on your own with them, but don't worry. They
pale to insignificance beside the basic set I've listed here (unless it's the one about
that Scouter in Winnipeg who.... Well, you know what I mean. 'Nough said.).
And while you're tilting at the rumour mills, draw comfort from the great truths of
Scouting-proof against any rumours to the contrary.
- Scouting makes a difference to Canada. Scouting has made and continues to make a
significant contribution to the spiritual, mental, physical, and social development of
thousands, even millions, of Canadian young people. Its very existence as an organization
demonstrates a national commitment to certain democratic principles that are an integral
part of a free society. Compare Canada with countries where Scouting is prohibited.
- Scouting helps the world. With more than 80 years experience in over 150
countries and more than 16 million current members, Scouting is an influence to be
reckoned with-not in terms of political clout, but in terms of the positive direction it
has given to so many lives over the years.
- Scouting will change you. But only if you actively subscribe to its aim and
principles. And only if you want it to.
Scouter Colin Wallace is ARC Training, Greater Toronto Region, Ont.
Last edited: February 22, 2004
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